Continuing our ongoing effort to bring you all the best entertainment you’ve never seen - I now present a recommendation for one of the most unique horror movies you will ever see: Bubba Ho-Tep. It all started as short story by a little-known writer named Joe R. Lansdale. The premise is genius. Elvis and JFK are alive and mostly well in a Texas Rest Home that is being plagued by a soul-sucking mummy. As I said… genius. Enter Don Coscarelli who decides this is too good to not be a movie. Don enlists one of the Crow’s favorite B-movie stars, Bruce Campbell - and in 2002 releases cinematic perfection. First, let me enlighten you a bit about the plot.

It is the present day and lying in a bed in said Texas Rest Home is none other then Elvis Presley. The world knows him as Sebastian Haff, but we learn the truth as we are regaled with the tale of a fed up Elvis changing places with his biggest fan and best impersonator in the late sixties, Haff. After the identity switch the real Elvis lives out his life as a trailer park hero and the real

Sebastian (Elvis as far as the world thinks) bites the big one on a toilet, sandwich in hand.

Down the hall from the geriatric Elvis is our second hero, John F. Kennedy. He just happens to be black and has one hell of a story to explain this (and the fact that he’s alive and well in 2002). I’ll let you discover that on your own though, as it’s absolutely hilarious. Two unlikely heroes - or the best Mummy-busting team of all time? Well… don’t pass judgment; decide after you see the damn movie, ok?

Bruce Campbell plays Elvis beautifully. Though he’s heavily made up you’ll recognize the infamous chin from the Evil Dead series. And please, if you don’t know what the Evil Dead series is do a tad bit of research and settle in for some

quality films. They are all directed by Sam Raimi; and were his, Campbell’s, and a few other talented people’s entry into the movie industry. So check them out if you haven’t already. I digress though. Elvis is hilarious. The few shots of the middle aged King during the flashbacks is priceless, as well as the near bed ridden present-day King.

What Campbell manages to do is capture what the real Elvis might have been (is?) feeling were he still alive and in this particular set-up. Sure, he’s a crotchety old man but he also is saddened by the lack of contact with his daughter (they don’t mention her brain-shattering marriage), his failings with Pricilla, and the aynominity he is now faced with since the world believes Elvis is dead and no one gives a seventy year old man in a nursing home any credit. Elvis also chimes in a few times voiceover style to give us some of his inner monologue, and it works perfectly to draw you in just a bit more. Though JFK is a very

big part of the movie - he is more the Tonto to Campbell’s Lone Ranger. Although make no mistake, he is played masterfully by the late Ossie Davis (rest in peace, my man…) whom you may recognize from various TV and movie appearances.

Now this mummy, this ‘Bubba Ho-Tep’ (a King-centric play on Imhotep) as Elvis dubs him, is a joke all unto himself. How a Mummy got to east Texas and terrorizing a nursing home is explained by the film so I’ll skip that part. However, being a mummy in Texas does require a few things. Namely the cowboy hat and boots he sports at all times. If the idea of a Cowboy-Mummy doesn’t have you at least cracking a grin right now we may well be the wrong website for you to be browsing. If you’re one of us though, keep reading. This particular old Mummy happens to be a soul

eater - and as we all know, you can only get someone’s soul out of their body via an orifice. And I’ll bet you can guess which one our ‘Bubba Ho-Tep’ sucks them through.

So aside from all these kick-ass factors, what are a few more reasons to see this movie? Glad you asked. First off it’s a damn funny film filled with a ton of memorable lines and hilarious situations while being topped off with a good horror movie premise. Don’t expect scares necessarily (unless you’re a total pussy) but expect to enjoy the ride. Bubba Ho-Tep also adds to it’s credibility as a legitimate film by bringing up the issue of the elderly that the original short story touched on. It addresses the plight of many nursing home residents as they are left alone and essentially forgotten. This is masterfully pointed out early in the film when Elvis’s roommate dies (though not a mummy related death) and the man’s daughter comes to collect his things. When the King asks why he’s never seen her there she simply replies, “Because I haven’t been back since I dropped him off.” Now don’t go and say Max is getting all emotional on you, but that is really a sad moment and an even sadder truth. Now go hug your grandmother.

The residents are also treated much like you’d treat a rather stupid child - and you have to wonder whether the condescending attitude that Elvis and JFK are confronted with is more fact then fiction...? Therein lies the emotional elements that draw you in via

the plight of the elderly, though that’s more of an under the surface type of thing. There is also the regret that Elvis has about his life and these are highlighted in a few poignant moments of dialogue between the King and JFK. Of course, these exchanges also have their funny moments such as the Elvis asking JFK about the subject every man out there would probably inquire about given the opportunity. “Tell me one more thing,” grunts Elvis. “Marilyn?” It’s a great moment.

So let’s go off the assumption that you have enough faith in the Crow to consider adding our favorites to your collection as well. Let me load a little more ammo in my ‘go buy Bubba Ho-Tep’ gun. First, the DVD contains one of absolute best extras I’ve ever had the pleasure of viewing. You have an entire commentary track from Campbell which he recorded in character as Elvis. I just

cannot express in words how hilarious this is. Campbell proves himself to be one of the funniest off-the-cuff guys in modern film and it is truly worth your time. 

Second, buy it for the one of the reasons Campbell himself chose to do the movie. There are far too few films being made these days that stand out from the pack of mediocrity and gives us original content. And far fewer that do this well. Bubba Ho-Tep is one of the few. Supporting a film like this, spreading the word and introducing people to good entertainment helps to foster the next generation of artists that will give us the Bubba Ho-Tep’s, the Firefly’s, the Lord of the Rings’. Not the shallow, contrived crap that Hollywood so often churns out. And in the end, that’s all the staff of the Crow is trying to do with our reviews. Spread the word about the good ones. We see it, read it, or play it so you don’t have too. And when we find those gems that stick out and are worthy of a little attention - we do our best to let you know, and maybe even entertain you a bit ourselves.

That being said: Hail to the King, baby.

-Max, out.