The Talking Crow - Good Omens

I like to read. I do so in what I like to call the ‘binge and purge’ method: wherein I don’t read for a week or two then I pick something up and devour it in a few days. Now about a month ago I tried to read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. After a grueling 40 pages I set it down and have yet to pick it up again. Brushing aside my fears that I am in fact, not a highly effective person, I went in search of another good read. What I found is a book that helped me to forget my own ineffectiveness for a few days and enjoy a unique story.

That book is Good Omens, The nice and accurate prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. It was originally released to the world in 1990 but they just reissued it with a snazzy new cover and a forward, or is it an afterward? Something like that. Gaiman is renowned for the Sandman books, a groundbreaking series of horror-themed graphic novels depicting the story of a man obsessed with capturing the essence of Death but

The cover.

who instead finds the King of Dreams. Pratchett is known for a series of witty fantasy books this stone cold killer has never read (but hears they’re good). Both these guys are English, but for the sake of informing you people about a good book we’ll over look that. My guns laid to the side for a few days I gobbled Good Omens up and I’m please to report it’s great. Here are the facts:

What’s it about? The Apocalypse. One of my favorite subjects, as indiscriminate killing won’t be frowned upon given this occurrence. The plot follows a couple of dandies who happen to be an angel and demon. These two are essentially Heaven and Hell’s liaisons to the Earth and have over the many, many years of service become rather fond of each other and the more importantly, fond of humanity. When they both receive word from their mutual deities that the end of days is coming they decide to work together to stop Armageddon (not the asteroid movie, though someone should have stopped that). What follows is a few hundred pages of excellent story telling that is reminiscent of Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide series (which, if you haven’t read you are denying yourself one of the literary worlds greatest delights). We are introduced to all the essential players and some non-essential yet colorful folks who get caught up in the ultimate struggle. Be warned, I’m going to stay light on the plot details here. I’d hate to rob you of discovering the humor of the book yourself since I’m sure you are all going to run out and read it right after you get done on The Crow.

Another cover.

Now, you’re probably asking yourself: why does a bad motherfucker like Maximillian Devers recommend this book? Well, first off a bad motherfucker does not need to explain himself. But, for the sake of this article, I will. It’s funny. Not in a ‘fart joke’ kind of way, but in a cheeky British way that is yet another nod to Douglas Adams. It’s humor that appeals to intelligent people that makes good use of subtly and coincidence (when the 10 year old Anti Christ’s dog shows up you will be laughing out loud, trust me). Something that makes Good Omens so funny is the absurd point of view they take and the hilarious back story you get on the most insignificant things that may or may not be relevant down the line. You don’t quite know what you are getting into when each scene opens but once you do you’ll be smiling from cover to cover.

So, why else? It is written in a format all the people of our inundated modern world can appreciate. ‘Quick hits’ are what I like to call it. There are a variety of events transpiring at the same time and the authors give us short bits to keep you reading in anticipation of what comes next. Where traditionally you have a full chapter following one story line we have simply seven days that are filled with one to seven or so pages at a time that follow the different characters exploits. This way you can read a section, stop at the break, fire off a few rounds, and then start up again and not think “Ok, what part of this absurdly long sequence was I at?” Maybe this is just something yours truly appreciates exclusively?

Something else that sticks out about Good Omens is the authors’ take on Heaven and Hell. Being a person of little religious faith (this can’t be much of a surprise) I appreciate their originality. I don’t want to give too much away (or maybe I’m just lazy, you decide) but the basics involve neither side being correct or very righteous for that matter. The fact that human kind is caught in the middle of two supreme beings quarrel is a much more reasonable explanation for heaven and hell in the authors’, as well as this reviewer’s opinion. It’s is, as the book puts it, ineffable.

The fourth reason I’m recommending this book? Simple, it’s good. Above that, it’s great. I plan on stealing at least two copies for my own personal collection. Keep in mind the staff of The Crow wades through a lot of rubbish to bring you the goods. So when I pick up a book and can’t put it down, it’s good enough for a recommendation and a review. It reads easy. It’s funny as all hell. It’s filled to the brim with great characters and it’s an

A Dutch cover from... uh...
Dutch... ... Land... ahem....

expertly written religious satire. I enjoyed practically every page. No dragged out sequences involving midgets walking across a wasteland, no characters going into forty page long monologues on what is actually the author’s screwy view on the world. Just an entertaining read. Does it get any better? Well, yes. But most of my “better” is not legal by this country’s laws.

One more - ah forget it...
you get the idea.

So there you have it. Good Omens gets a solid 21 gun salute from this crazed reviewer. I can’t really see why someone hasn’t turned this thing into a movie yet, though come to think of it we may want to avoid that anyways. Hitchhiker’s was hardly done justice by its recent big screen treatment. Anyways, Good Omens, The nice and accurate prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch is definitely highly recommended so you all feel free to let me know what you think in the forums. I’m off to the bookstore to liberate a few things.

Maximilian - out.